Category Archives: Mental Health

On Attending This Year’s Official Star Trek Convention In Las Vegas

Earlier this month, I made a quick trip to the Official Star Trek Convention in Las Vegas. I made the last-minute decision to go in mid-July which didn’t give me a lot of time to plan so I ended up making it a day trip. The plan would be for me to fly out from Seattle early Saturday August 3rd and then fly back home that evening. I normally don’t do things like this – especially solo travel to a big convention. My social anxiety normally kicks in. And it did a little bit. But I felt it was important to go this year due to the ongoing promotion from CBS for the new Star Trek: Picard series and the upcoming 3rd season of Star Trek: Discovery. I also wanted to stop by to see/meet several vendors who would be at the show who develop Star Trek products I collect. And finally, I wanted to meet some of the actors. With lots of encouragement – I didn’t let my social anxiety win. I went and had a ton of fun and I wanted to share some highlights!

Set Phasers to stun! Me on the vendor showroom floor at the ANOVOS booth.

The Convention Itself

The event was held at a small convention center at the Rio in Las Vegas. It was easy to get my bearings on where things were at as the area wasn’t that big. There were two large ballrooms: one for the main stage events and the other for the vendor expo. There were smaller rooms dedicated to smaller sessions, a place to grab a drink (“Quark’s Bar”), and a few rooms for exhibits and showcases. CBS had a room for the Jean-Luc Picard “The First Duty” exhibit and there was also a room for a Roddenberry VR exhibit. The hallways were decorated with artwork celebrating the 40th anniversary of Star Trek: The Motion Picture (the very first theatrical Star Trek film from 1979) and places to take photos in staged sets such as Borg Alcoves, a Transporter Room, and a Terran Empire Agonizer Booth. There were a lot of people in a wide range of ages and a lot of amazing costumes. I saw young kids with their parents and retired couples – all dressed up together as their favorite Star Trek characters. It was very impressive. And even though there was a lot of people, it didn’t feel too overwhelming like big conferences tend to do for me. But maybe the Romulan Ale helped.

The First Duty: The Jean-Luc Picard Exhibit

CBS brought the same Jean-Luc Picard exhibit they had at SDCC to this convention and it was the very first thing I did when I got there. I literally went straight there. I really wanted to see this exhibit. It takes you through the career of Picard from his early years in Starfleet through his cadet years to commanding the Stargazer and then this his years as captain of the Enterprise. You get to see Picard’s various uniforms over his years of service, as well as mementos from his adventures such as the Ressikan flute from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “The Inner Light” and Kurlan naiskos given to Picard from Professor Galen in the episode “The Chase”.

Picard's uniform from Star Trek: The Next Generation below the Captain Picard Day banner.
Picard's Starfleet medals and rewards.

There were also items on display that fill in some gaps on events that happened between the new Star Trek: Picard series and the last time we saw Picard in Star Trek: Nemesis. I plan to write another blog post on filling in these gaps. CBS is being really creative on filling in some history that happened which will play a part in the new Picard series.

Finally, the exhibit ends with a peek at Picard’s attire from romping around his family’s vineyard in La Barre, France after retiring from Starfleet and what we’ll see him wearing in Star Trek: Picard. And Chateau Picard wine.

What a retired Picard wears around his Chateau Picard winery.

The Star Trek: Picard Panel

Jonathan Frakes, Jeri Ryan, and Jonathan Del Arco were on the panel to talk about the new series. We know Jonathan Frakes is returning at Riker (in addition to directing two episodes), Jeri Ryan is returning as Seven of Nine, and Jonathan Del Arco is coming back to the role of Hugh. There wasn’t a whole lot of new things talked about on the panel, most of it was things we already heard from SDCC the week before. They re-played the trailer which I had already watched a thousand times but loved seeing again. Everything around the new Picard show is surrounded by secrecy so that fans will be surprised and delighted when they watch the show. To illustrate how tight security was at protecting elements of the show, Jonathan Frakes was wearing a t-shirt that said “Don’t ask me, I signed an NDA!”

There were two things that struck me while watching the panel despite the lack of anything new. First – the chemistry between Jeri and Jonathan Del Arco is awesome. I really loved watching them go back and forth and I truly hope their characters interact in the new show with the same energy. I call them “Borg Besties”:

Second – the highlight of the panel is Jonathan Frakes describing an interaction between him and Patrick Stewart after shooting a scene for the show that has all the feels:

“And Patrick says: ‘I think we have done it, Johnny.’ And I said: ‘I think so too.’ So, we walk and it is just the two of us. The entire company of 150 people have moved on to the next set, which is in another part. And he says ‘Is there anything better than spending the day with filmmakers who know what they are doing and be able to work with people you love?’”

Teaching with Trek – Engage with STEM

Bobak Ferdowsi, Brandon Rodriguez, Danielle Nuding, Lyle Tavernier, and Tracy Drain from NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) did a session at the convention about how they got involved in STEM. STEM stands for science, technology, engineering and math. The scientists talked about ways to help students develop skills in the disciplines of STEM. And they took questions from the audience about working in STEM and offering advice to some of the young people there. I absolutely loved seeing this session. Seeing parents bringing their kids to this convention and then prioritizing sessions like this one really made me smile.

Bobak Ferdowsi, Brandon Rodriguez, Danielle Nuding, Lyle Tavernier, and Tracy Drain from NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) discussing STEM.

Meeting Mary Chieffo

When I decided to go to this convention and make it a day trip, I knew I couldn’t do everything and see all the actors. To make the best out of the trip, I was very specific on who I wanted to see, and Mary Chieffo was at the very top of the list. In case you don’t know, Mary played the kickass Klingon Chancellor L’Rell (or “Mother”) on the last two seasons of Star Trek: Discovery. I believe that L’Rell is probably one of the best female Klingons we’ve ever seen on any Star Trek series or movie and its because Mary is such an amazing actress. She took how the writers wrote the character in the show and made L’Rell really stand out. It’s like what Andrew Robinson did with Garek on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I’ve been following Mary on Twitter ever since Season 1 of Discovery and she’s been great about engaging with fans including myself. Meeting her in person was wonderful! And yes – she’s very tall. I am looking forward to seeing her in other roles in other TV shows and movies.

I got to meet Mary Chieffo who played the kickass Klingon Chancellor L’Rell (or “Mother”) on the last two seasons of Star Trek: Discovery.

BONUS: Meeting Anson Mount

Anson Mount as Captain Pike has been one of most favorite things about the second season of Star Trek: Discovery. Anson’s Pike represents exactly how a Starfleet captain should be and how they represent the values of Starfleet and the Federation. I think this quote from Captain Pike from the episode “Through the Valley of Shadows” summarizes exactly who Pike is:

“You are a Starfleet Captain. You believe in service, sacrifice, compassion, and love.”

In going to the convention for just the day, I didn’t anticipate getting to meet any of the other actors outside of Mary. But there was a small moment where the line for Anson wasn’t very long and my gut told me I’d regret it if I didn’t take advantage of the opportunity. So I got in line. And… I got to meet him! I have Captain Pike’s autograph! In support of Anson, I also want to mention he does a podcast too that I think you should check out.

I also got to meet Anson Mount who played Captain Pike in the second season of Star Trek: Discovery.

The ANOVOS Booth

There were a handful of vendors I wanted to see at the convention and ANOVOS was #1. All my Starfleet uniforms come from them and I’m a big supporter of the company with lots of cool stuff on order – including a Star Trek: Discovery command uniform. Sadly, they did not have their Discovery uniforms on display at their booth. While at their booth, I did get to check out their Star Trek Nemesis Type II Hand Phaser as well as the Star Trek: Discovery Phaser and Phaser Rifle. I’ve got the Discovery Phaser on order. These props are incredibly accurate and include LED lights and working buttons.

ANOVOS's Type 2 Phaser as seen from Star Trek: Nemesis. And my red shoes.
ANOVOS's Phaser as seen from Star Trek: Discovery.

Special shout out to ANOVOS’s John Cooley who I finally got to meet in person at their booth. John’s been absolutely fantastic in talking about ANOVOS’s Star Trek products.

The Eaglemoss Booth

Eaglemoss produces a huge collection of miniature models of Star Trek starships from across all the Star Trek TV shows and movies. And I’ve collected nearly ever single starship they’ve released so far since early 2014. They announced new starships for their Discovery line and new starships from their main starships line at the convention. They had the new Klingon Raider from Discovery and the Scimitar from Star Trek: Nemesis on display which were incredibly detailed.

Eaglemoss had the new Klingon Raider from Discovery and the Scimitar from Star Trek: Nemesis on display

And they offered attendees the ability to purchase their new Akira Class U.S.S. Thunderchild model from their XL line. And I picked one up! The Akira Class starship design is one of my favorite starships design outside of the Enterprises and Discovery.

Shout out to Nils from Eaglemoss for taking the time to chat about starships.

Other Items of Note

  • I picked up a copy of the Backers Edition of the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine documentary “What We Left Behind”. I was surprised that this didn’t have a heaver presence at the convention since it was very close to the release date. Instead, they had a small table in one of the far back corners of the vendors hall. I finished watching this though and HIGHLY recommend it for any Star Trek fan.
  • When I picked up my copy of the DS9 doc, I also met the actor Andy Bray who played Chekov in the fan-made Star Trek: New Voyages. New Voyages continues the adventures of the Original Series crew with all the classic set designs, visual effects, and costumes just as if the show wasn’t canceled in 1969. It also served as the precursor to the fan-made Star Trek: Continues series. Andy co-wrote a book with John Lin who played Sulu in New Voyages called “Making Fake Star Trek”. I picked up a copy which Andy signed.
Me in a Borg Alcove.

I am so very glad I fought back my anxiety and pushed myself to attend this year’s Star Trek Convention in Las Vegas. I had a ton of fun and I met some of the actors and vendors I’ve always wanted to meet. And I got to experience the Jean-Luc Picard exhibit too. Upon reflection, I think I should have at least stayed one night so I could have enjoyed things without needing to be mindful of the time and getting back to the airport for my flight home. There were evening activities I might have enjoyed. I am seriously considering going next year!

And special thanks to Holly Amos for letting me tag along at the convention for a little bit! She is awesome!

NOTE: All pictures taken from the convention were taken using the OnePlus 7 Pro.

Solo Superhero Strikes Again?

Last month, I published a blog post about managing my mental health and dealing with social anxiety. And I want to continue that conversation. I thought I would highlight a recent example of where my anxiety kicked in and how I dealt with it.

Sometimes going out and doing things that come easy for everyone else doesn’t come so easy for me. Like going to the movies by myself. My anxiety gets triggered when I think of being in social situations by myself or around large groups of people. Even seeing a movie in a movie theater. Last week, Spider-Man: Far From Home from Marvel Studios came out. And I am religious about seeing every Marvel Cinematic Universe movie on opening night AND in IMAX. For IMAX movies in Regal Cinemas, they release special collector tickets. And I collect them. So, by seeing these movies on opening night – I ensure I get one of these tickets. For popular movies, these tickets can go quickly.

When it came to seeing Spider-Man: Far From Home, I didn’t have anyone available to go with me on opening night. And it makes me feel more comfortable going to movies with someone I know. Yes, I know – it’s just a movie and you’re just sitting there watching a big screen for 2 hours and not really being “social”. You’re still around a lot of people though especially when your going to a hotly anticipated movie which most of the Marvel movies are.

In trying to manage my anxiety, I am challenging myself to confront these situations head on rather than avoid them. To make sure I didn’t weasel out of seeing this movie, I used the Regal Cinemas app to purchase a ticket for the movie in advance. An IMAX movie ticket on opening night isn’t cheap. And it’s not trivial to get your money back for a ticket you bought through the app. I trapped myself a week before the movie. I HAD to go. Otherwise I would be wasting a decent amount of money which is stupid.

In short – I went to the movie, it was awesome (highly recommend seeing it and seeing it in IMAX), and I got the collectible ticket.

There are still cases where my anxiety gets the best of me. I wanted to go see the Foo Fighters (my favorite band) in concert and didn’t go because I didn’t want to go by myself. Same for Weezer. And every year I tell myself I’m going to go to San Diego Comic-Con but never actually do it. I’ve still got work to do. But at least I’m taking baby steps!

For those of you who have social anxiety, how do you manage it? I’d love some tips to try! Leave a comment or tweet at me.

Managing My Mental Health

Mental health issues (or disorders) affect 1 in 4 people. That means millions of people today live with mental health issues like Autism, Depression, Anxiety, Dyslexia, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and others. Unfortunately, that has come with a somewhat negative stigma. Studies on these mental health issues are ongoing, but it has been discovered that many are the result of how the brain is “wired” which can impact behavior as well as create challenges in thinking and learning. Today’s push on neurodiversity challenges the negative stigma by saying that the differences in how the brain is wired that results in mental health issues are simply normal variations in humans and shouldn’t be treated as a defect. These people are simply a normal variation of the human species. To put a spotlight on neurodiversity and to fight the negative stigma often associated with mental health, many people are speaking out and sharing their experiences on their own mental health issues. And I would like to take part in this conversation by sharing my own experiences dealing with my mental health.

Throughout my entire life, there have been very specific situations which make me extremely anxious. It began when I was a kid with minor things like reading out loud in class when I was in grade school. My teachers and parents just told me I was “nervous”. But as I got older, it got worse. In high school, the risk of simply getting picked by a teacher in class to answer a question or read out loud gave me feelings of panic and fear causing my heart rate to skyrocket. It also gave me stomach troubles. Having to present a project in front of the class or participate in group projects made me feel the same way: absolute panic. Anything related to being in major social situations gave me severe anxiety. So, I did everything I could to avoid getting into these situations. I managed this well in high school, but this became more challenging in college. In college, there were classes that required you to participate in group projects to pass the course. I ended up simply not doing the group projects which in turn meant not getting good grades. I didn’t go out to parties. I couldn’t make friends. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself to feel differently in these social situations – it never worked. It wasn’t until my late 20’s when I realized I was dealing with Social Anxiety Disorder.

I continued to do everything I could to avoid the situations that would give me anxiety, even when I started working for Microsoft in 2008. To avoid these situations, I created various excuses. But a few years ago, I realized that by avoiding these situations, I was missing out on experiences and opportunities. I missed out going to product launches and big technology conferences because I convinced my managers that “I didn’t need to be there” because I didn’t want to travel. I missed out on meeting new people and making new friends after moving to Seattle because I didn’t go to social gatherings like happy hours I was invited to. I was given opportunities to meet amazing people I admire like Satya Nadella and I didn’t take them because I “didn’t want to bother people”. I’ve passed up so many amazing opportunities to introduce myself to people and always chickened out. And I’m divorced because my ex-wife felt she was missing out on doing fun things with friends and family which I avoided because of my anxiety.

After my divorce, I decided to take time to self-reflect. In OneNote, I created a list going back as far as I could remember of all the experiences and opportunities I missed out on because of my anxiety. It was a rather long list. But the list served as a forcing function for me to face my fears. I didn’t want this list to grow. In fact, I wanted to create a new list of all the NEW experiences and opportunities I get to have as a result of facing my fears. My hope is that it allows me to grow more comfortable with more social interaction both professionally and personally. Every time I find myself closing up and feeling anxious – I’ll open up the list of all the things I’ve missed to remind myself I don’t want to add to it. It’s a great way to hold myself accountable.

Over the course of the last two years, I’ve had amazing opportunities and experiences as a result of me facing my fears. I’ve traveled to Europe for the very first time and visited London and Munich. I discovered a way to make myself feel more comfortable is to travel with someone I trust and who I am comfortable with. It made a huge difference in the level of anxiety I felt. I’ve spoken in front of groups of people at a big technology conference. Instead of getting up in front of a bunch of people and making a speech, I’ve discovered I feel a lot more comfortable speaking along with someone else on stage who I can work off of. And I’ve done social things where I’ve met cool people. But I have a lot more work to do. I still find myself falling back into my old routine of avoiding things. Dealing with this is really hard for me. I feel like I’m broken because I see everyone else out traveling the world, having fun, making friends – but I struggle so much. But I remind myself of the progress I’ve made so far.

I have so much more to say on this topic and on mental health. I want this blog post to serve as an introduction to me talking more about this and opening to my struggles as well as ways I’m coping and managing my anxiety. I have been signed up by my boss (told) to take part in a neurodiversity session at Microsoft Ignite 2019 in November. Microsoft has been investing a lot in diversity and inclusion in technology and this is part of that effort. I’m glad to be taking part in this conversation!